Is it cheating to be on dating apps while you’re in a relationship?

What do most people think?

When pollsters ask about dating apps, the answer is lopsided. YouGov’s 2026 Big Survey on Relationships asked British adults whether a list of behaviors was harmless, cheating, or “not harmless, but not cheating.” Using a dating app while in a relationship landed near the top, just behind sex and sending naked photos.

Women were stricter than men about dating apps: 86% of women called it cheating, compared with 74% of men. People who were in a relationship (82%) and people who weren’t (78%) answered almost the same way.

American polling points the same direction, with a wider gender gap. In a 2017 Deseret News poll conducted by YouGov, 63% of Americans said maintaining an online dating profile while in a relationship counts as cheating. Among women, 70% called it always cheating, compared with 55% of men.

Why do couples disagree about what counts?

“Cheating” covers a lot of ground, and people rarely spell out their version. The iFidelity Survey, run by YouGov in late 2019 for researchers at Brigham Young University and the National Marriage Project, showed people nine behaviors and asked which counted. 70% labeled six of the nine as cheating, and 30% labeled seven or more.

How strict you are shows up in behavior too. In an analysis of 1,282 ever-married people from that survey, those who labeled more than six behaviors as cheating were less likely to report an affair than people with looser definitions.

Couples also start from different places. One of you may see an old profile as harmless clutter. The other may see any profile as an open door. Neither view is unreasonable on its own. The trouble starts when the two views were never said out loud.

The gray areas couples argue about

The old profile nobody deleted

This one is often innocent. Tinder says uninstalling the app doesn’t delete the account, and deleting the account doesn’t cancel a paid subscription. Someone who removed the app the week you met can still have a profile sitting there.

What changes the picture is activity after you got together: new photos, an updated bio, a different city. A forgotten profile is a loose end. A profile someone keeps updating is a choice. Asking them to delete it for good, together, is a fair request.

“I was just looking”

Some people open an app out of boredom or curiosity, or to see whether they’d still get matches. A 2018 study of partnered Tinder users, summing up earlier research, lists passing time, curiosity, socializing, and an ego boost among the most common reasons people use Tinder.

Those reasons are real. They still involve a live profile that strangers can like and message. Most people won’t accept “just looking” as the whole story, and the next question is usually whether looking turned into talking.

Swiping, messaging, meeting

Most people see a ladder here, and behavior thins out as it climbs. In a study of 550 U.S. undergraduates, 17.1% had messaged someone on Tinder while in an exclusive relationship, 12.5% had spent time with someone they met there, and 7.2% had had sex with someone they met there.

Opinion hardens with each step. In YouGov’s 2022 American poll, 55% called flirting cheating, 83% said the same of sending suggestive online messages, and about nine in ten said it of sex.

Apps for friends

Some apps have spaces built for friendship. Bumble keeps BFF profiles separate from dating profiles, and in the US, Canada, and Mexico it has moved friend-finding into a standalone BFF app. Friendship is a common stated reason, too: in a 2025 IFS/YouGov survey of adults under 40, married dating app users most often said they were looking for friends (38%), with casual dates second.

A profile clearly set up for friends, and known to your partner, is a different conversation from a dating profile described as “just for friends.” Anyone can like a dating profile, whatever its owner says it’s for.

Open relationships and agreed rules

Some couples agree that one or both of them can date others, and some apps make room for that. Hinge, for example, publishes tips for setting up a profile as a polyamorous dater. When both people agreed, a profile is part of the arrangement. When only one person knows about it, it’s a secret.

Is a dating profile micro-cheating?

“Micro-cheating” is a loose label for small acts that cross a line one partner cares about: a secret chat, a flirty reply, an app tucked into a hidden folder. It has no official definition, so couples argue about it constantly.

An active dating profile doesn’t fit neatly in the “micro” box. The British respondents above ranked it alongside sending naked photos. A long-forgotten profile is closer to the micro end, until someone starts using it again.

How do you talk about it without a fight?

• Pick a calm moment and a private place. Not in the middle of an argument, and not by text.
• Start with what you saw or felt: “I noticed your Hinge profile is still up, and it made me uneasy.”
• Ask before you assume. “When did you last open it?” leaves room for an honest answer.
• Say what you need, specifically: “I’d like us both to delete our profiles, and I’m happy to do it together.”
• Agree on the details: which apps, old accounts, friend modes, and what happens if one of you gets curious later.
• Revisit the agreement if your situation changes, like moving in together, opening the relationship, or a long-distance stretch.

If the conversation goes badly, or the answer doesn’t add up, it’s fine to step back and think. Our guide to finding your partner on a dating app covers what to do next, including how to decide whether you can rebuild trust.

When you want to know, not guess

If you think your partner has a profile and you’d rather know before you talk, start with free checks, like reverse image searching their photos. Our guide to catching a cheater on dating apps walks through what’s legal. We also check up to 12 dating apps, including Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, from one clear photo and the city they live or work in. Each possible match comes with a confidence note, and we never contact them.

A match tells you a profile exists that looks like them. It can’t tell you what they agreed to with you, or why it’s there. That part still takes a conversation.

Sources

Checked October 2026.

1. YouGov: Section 4, cheating in relationships (August 2026)
2. YouGov Big Survey on Relationships: full results, 1,882 GB adults, July 9–10, 2026 (PDF)
3. Deseret News/YouGov adultery poll (April 2017 release)
4. Institute for Family Studies: Is Digital Media Complicating How We Define Infidelity? (2017)
5. Institute for Family Studies: Predicting Infidelity, an iFidelity Survey analysis (2020)
6. Tinder Help Center: Delete your Tinder account
7. Timmermans, De Caluwé & Alexopoulos: Why are you cheating on Tinder? Computers in Human Behavior (2018)
8. Weiser et al.: Swiping right, Personality and Individual Differences (2018)
9. Texas Tech University release on the Weiser study, via Medical Xpress (2018)
10. YouGov: How many Americans have cheated on their partners in monogamous relationships? (2022)
11. Bumble Support: Switching to BFF Mode
12. Institute for Family Studies: 1 in 10 Married Young Adults Are on Dating Sites (2025)
13. Hinge Help Center: How do I set up my Hinge profile if I’m polyamorous?